What a difference 6 months make. There have been a lot of changes in my life. One particular event, which completely changed my life, started it all.

Through that, I have started learning again, and growing again. Was that event a blessing? I'm not really sure.

There have been people who have come back into my life in such a big way. From relatives I haven't seen or talked to in ages, to old friends who have gone from casual acquaintances to major forces in my life.

There have been new friendships spawned as well. New people who have made my life richer in so many ways. It is so nice to have people in my life who care about who I am, and know who I am. People who don't see me as a stepping stone to a different life.

There have also been repaired relationships. Mainly with my daughter, sister and niece. They are the true loves of my life now, and should have been all along.

I changed 3 years ago. I became someone who thought he only needed one person. I turned my back on the world for that one person. I gave everything I had, to that one person. That was what she demanded, and that is what she needed.

The first year, my daughter and her were the best of friends. It really warmed my heart to see the two of them get on so well, independent of me. Then, something happened. Whether it was jealousy issues over my ex-wife, or my daughter, or the fact that I was faced with some changes with my own relationship with my daughter, she started to resent my daughter.

She did what she does best. She sought out an ear, any ear to listen to her and to tell her she was right. On the internet, at work, etc. She has always sought out the weakest of souls. It's something that she learned to recognize years ago. Her two best friends in the world are two of the weakest and whacked and issue driven people I've ever come across. I'm thinking three years ago, I was the lost soul she latched onto.

I've re-discovered my love of music again. I have a whole new appreciation for music these days. It really is the most powerful of all mediums. I've started writing again. Something that I hadn't done in years. A lot of what I've been writing has been therapy for me. A lot of it has been realizations, actualizations and just the re-discovery of the gift of words.

My personal life has changed as well. Recovery has included a financial goal. No longer am I a slave to grind. Independence is near, and for the first time in years, I am working for me. I'm able to put something away for that proverbial rainy day. The music and my financial independence is something I could never have done with her in my life.

I guess I should be thanking her for what my life is becoming. I guess I should be thanking her for allowing me to become myself again after all these years. I guess I should be thanking her for turning out to be who she really was.

I don't feel very grateful though. I feel a sadness. A sadness over who I thought she was, and a sadness that I've lost three years of my life, that I'll never get back. A sadness that there are no real reasons for what she has done, only excuses. Excuses only she can justify.

At first, I thought she couldn't have done this on her own. I've since learned exactly what she is capable of. She plays naive, she plays the lost soul, she plays the victim, all equally well. Boy, was she ever good.

She made me very old, well before my time. It is an amazing feeling now, to be this young, with the fresh new start I have on my life.

What a difference 6 months make.